During my first pregnancy back in 2021, I remember being totally overwhelmed by how many new "rules" there were for me now that I was with child. Some of them seemed to make pretty obvious sense, and others were more surprising. As I'm sure most women with kids would agree, you're definitely a little more prone to fear-mongering while pregnant for the first time. The advice of experts, doctors, friends and family are coming at you from all angles, and sometimes it can induce serious anxiety... especially when you think it will be nine long months of extreme changes you aren't used to. Now with my third child on the way in three years, I have come to my own conclusions about the "dos and don'ts" of this process, and have adopted a much more lax approach based on my own first-hand experiences and education. I am no medical professional, just a regular ol' 30-something with a few goes at this under my belt, and here are 6 "taboo" things I personally choose to do while pregnant:
#1 - Enjoy my coffee
I cut out just about all caffeine during my first pregnancy. The withdrawals sucked and I realized just how much I enjoyed the ritual of enjoying a cup of joe! My OB recommended this book to help ease all of my concerns (and I highly recommend it for anyone expecting), and it changed everything. Knowledge is power, as they say! I learned that my 1-2 cups a day was not a problem at all, and I could safely enjoy my lattes and macchiatos in peace - and have been doing so ever since.
#2 - Eat sandwiches
Out of all the bizarre things that I am told I can't (or should) do during this unique season of life, I could never really understand how enjoying a turkey sandwich was such a terrible idea. Sure, is some deli meat more likely to be contaminated with bacteria like Listeria? Yes. But would I typically be eating somewhere that offers low-quality meat anyway? Hard no. I am very choosy when it comes to the places I get food from, especially during pregnancy. My local, fresh deli is not somewhere I am worried about, and dammit if I am craving a sandwich, I'm going to have it! Especially when I feel the risks have been widely exaggerated.
According to the CDC, only about 200 cases of listeriosis occur out of 4 million pregnancies per year.
My takeaway? Don't take away my sammy!!
#3 - Sleep however I'm comfortable
If you've ever been pregnant before, you know sleep is a fleeting luxury. It's amazing how often you feel you took a good night's rest for granted once you can't have it anymore. It's impossible to get comfortable sometimes, all the prego symptoms seem to creep in when you are least ready for them, and you are constantly getting up to pee toward the end. Pregnant mothers are strongly advised to sleep on their left side in order to increase blood flow to the fetus and prevent certain health problems. I'm usually a stomach sleeper, so I already have a hard time trying to fall asleep with a growing belly, but now this? Sorry experts, I've slept on my back and both sides throughout all 2 (and a half!) of my pregnancies now, and I've been just fine - along with my babies. Did a man write this rule? Get lost and leave my sleep preferences alone!
#4 - Indulge in all the cheese
Similar to my earlier perspective on sandwiches, I cut out all (my beloved) soft cheeses during my first pregnancy. It wasn't the end of the world, but if you could've seen the way my pupils turned into hearts as I longingly gazed across the charcuterie platter at the brie calling my name like a Greek siren out at sea, you'd know how much I missed this simple indulgence. I only buy fresh, high-quality dairy anyway, so in subsequent pregnancies, I've now enjoyed whatever cheeses I want. No problems to report so far, and I type this after recently finishing a bowl of ricotta with honey. *GIRL, BYE!*
#5 - Get massages
Oh the tall tales about a masseuse rubbing the wrong spot and sending a woman into early labor! What-e-ver. How about this? A properly trained prenatal massage therapist knows where to focus their attention and where not to, and after months of muscle tension, back pain, pelvic discomfort, enlarged feet, and water retention, I'm going to enjoy my effing massage!
#6 - Say no to shots and vaccines
My personal opinion here: I think big pharma is the most dangerous thing to the health of our society, and the way they are in bed with our governing bodies, with a trickle down to our localized medical institutions have created more crimes against humanity than most people will ever know (thanks to the help of counter-protective laws, attorneys, lobbyists, and big budget companies buying the people who are supposed to be there to protect us). To avoid going down the entire controversial rabbit hole here, I will just say this, anything designed to be injected into me as a preventative measure that could have side effects worse than getting treatment if truly infected with the actual disease itself (which statistically is usually quite unlikely), is not something I'm willing to risk my health over, or the health of my unborn child. I don't care if "everyone does it" or "it's been given to pregnant people for years;" there are a lot of things that could be said for those kinds of blanket statements that have proven to be problematic later on. Pregnancy lasts almost a year. I don't think I've made it through a single northeastern winter without catching some sort of bug somewhere, and I (and my babies) have always been fine. I'll cruise out this sensitive period of my life focusing on putting good things in my body, staying away from the bad, and making smart choices to prevent illness instead of being reactionary to it. I trust my immune system will do what it was designed to do without the need for pharmaceutical intervention, and I sleep quite well with comfort in this decision, thank you very much! (*Side bar: I am only speaking from my own personal education, experience, and health condition. I encourage everyone to do their own independent research and consult with a doctor, midwife, doula, naturopath, homeopath, holistic practitioner, or other medical professional you trust to determine the best course of action for yourself during pregnancy, and beyond.)
In summary... do your homework, and you make the choice for what is best for your body and your baby during pregnancy.
Yes, the first time is stressful because you don't know what you don't know. But I hope this read helps any of my pregnant sisters (and their partners too!) with knowing that not everything during this process needs to be scary and threatening. Pregnancy truly is a beautiful season in your life that you should enjoy. Though it can feel never-ending at times, it will ultimately seem like a blip in your life when you look back. Don't spend it riddled with anxiety and suffering needlessly. Give yourself permission to be as comfortable as possible, and trust your intuition that you know what is best for you and your child.
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This helps this mama keep doing what she loves! TYSM in advance for your support! :-)