It's no big secret that life is short, and getting shorter every day. After experiencing so many changes in my life the last few years, I feel like I've finally gotten a chance to settle into things after all the bobbing and weaving of the pandemic years left my head spinning. I had to have more than a few self-reflective moments to try and figure out what the next chapter would hold, and should hold. Have you ever taken the time to think about your current trajectory? I mean really think about it? How the things you're doing today will effect the things you do tomorrow, the weeks that come, the months and years after that? Once you realize that how you will be living five years from now is dependent on the choices you are making in present day, things become a lot more focused, fast. For me, I knew that the path I was on one year ago wasn't one I wanted to still be in during my next chapter. I had a bit more of a hard line to draw, because my office space where I housed my businesses and recording studio was up for lease renewal. Not only did the overhead expense make little sense for me anymore, but the commitment to having a brick-and-mortar business was less interesting than it ever had been. My priorities have also shifted tremendously, with now being a mother of two under two. My husband and I decided together that keeping our kids home with us full-time was what we wanted to do, and that we would have to make compromises and sacrifices in other areas of life to make that work - and so we did. It was the right choice for our family, and our circumstances made that possible. A physical office space that I needed to tend to and be at every day would not function well in this ideology of our next chapter, and so the decision was made. It is one of the hardest things I've had to do in my life, because it was such a stark contrast from what I became accustomed to for the last twelve years. But it is an example of being okay with the evolution of life.
Though I worked in a creative business and studied music in college, my former life wasn't involved in as much creativity day to day as one might think - worse, as I personally thought it would be. I turned down a dream job opportunity with a major record label to start my own business back in 2012, and that too changed the trajectory of my life for the better. But I made that choice because I decided to clear the clutter of my mind and be honest with myself about my needs for fulfillment. I knew that if I stayed in a corporate drone work environment, it would break my spirit, and no paycheck could justify that. What I didn't know, was how much "backend work" would be involved with starting companies from scratch in the years that followed. I spent over a decade doing nothing creative for myself. Zilch. Zero. Nada. I love to sing, but singing in the way I wanted to do it wouldn't pay the bills, and so my focus always turned back to being in the trenches running my business, and ultimately helping others learn to be creative in their own lives. This was often extremely rewarding (and still is), but my heart yearned for something more and I did everything I could to quiet that voice inside. I think it's something we all do, and it's a mistake. I believe that we as humans are meant to make things, meant to create. It doesn't matter what it is. I think we all have something of value to share. The current state of society wants you to suppress that. It tells you it's silly, childish, immature, a waste of energy. Why? Because society wants good workers. And good workers can't have dreams, or they won't be cooperative little worker bees much longer.
Worse still, is your peers. The very same people you'd hope would cheer you on are often the first ones to shoot you down due to their own insecurities - and that's if you ever even have the courage to share your innermost dreams with them at all. Why? Because of fear. Fear of being ridiculed, fear of failure, fear of not being good enough to try in the first place. This is the societal conditioning talking once again. Start learning to quiet that voice instead. It wasn't there when you were a child, it was ingrained into you. It's your job to do the work of getting it out. Somewhat like a spirit-suppressing exorcism, you need to extract it from your life, so you can truly have it back and do what you're meant to do. I'm not saying quit your job tomorrow, but what I am saying, is that it is worthwhile to start having those self-reflective conversations before you become too old to. Don't be the elderly person looking back on their life with regret. It is my greatest fear. No one is ever regretful of the things they've tried, only those which they didn't.
In this new phase of my own life, I see everything through the lens of motherhood first. I can't help it. I think when you have kids, your brain truly rewires. I'm still me, and I still have my businesses. But I decided to embrace the evolution and stop fighting it. What brings me joy now? Working with a limited amount of clients who I believe in, where I know I can make the most positive impact for their lives and creative work. So that's what I've done, remotely, from home, all while my kids nap. What else brings me joy? Making music. Making music for me. So I started writing and recording. In a few months, I made an entire children's album from scratch, because I felt like it. Will it make me rich? Probably not. Does it bring me joy? Absolutely. Do I get to share that joy with my children and others? I sure do. I will never regret that, and will probably do it again and again. What's new that interests me? Well, this. Talking to you right now is special for me. Sharing my experiences, trials and tribulations, recommendations, and life balance advice that has brought me so much harmony, with the goal of helping spread that to other people. But this is new, and a stark contrast to where I was just a year ago today. I realize that it's different, and if you know me personally, you do too. I'm sure some people have wondered what was going on and why. But it's truly more simple than you might think. I just decided to have the courage to evolve. I wanted to shift some gears in my life, so I did. Because I wanted to. Because it is in alignment with the peace I've found in my life. Because I decided to break unhealthy, overworked cycles and focus solely on the things that brought me true fulfillment. I trust my path because I've done the math on the trajectory, and it checks out.
The hard decisions I made one year ago today, allowed me to make exciting decisions right now. I am now more in touch with myself than ever before, because I learned to quiet the voices that tried to tell me to stay in my box and keep my head down. They do not matter. They will not be there when I'm old having to explain themselves. All I'll have is myself and the mirror, and I want to be proud of the decisions I've made, the life I chose to live, and the example I set for my children. Can you say the same? Really think about that. And if the answer is anything but a resounding yes, then I hope this reading pushes you to be better tomorrow than you are today. When you know better, you should do better. And if you choose not to, well then, you deserve exactly what you've set your mind to. But I encourage you to be brave, and shed yourself of the fears and limiting inner-chatter that holds you back from becoming the best version of yourself and creating a life you love. Remember that you are in control. If you are an adult, there is nothing holding you back from designing a world you are excited to wake up to every single day. Do not focus on your past, things from your upbringing, or trauma that results in blame for why you're not where you want to be. That is a frivolous cycle of suffering you can circle the drain on forever. Why live that way? Make the choice to be happy, little by little, day by day, and you will get there. Take the road less traveled, break the rules, and do not compromise with anything that gets in the way of what you know in your gut brings you real happiness. I implore you to have the courage to evolve. You can always start over. You can always grow. And you can change anything, any time you want. It all starts with a choice.