As a young adult, I drove myself crazy overworking, climbing the career ladder, and putting nearly everything before my own health and happiness. I thought that's what I was supposed to do. I was conditioned to think this way.
Now in my mid-thirties, I've found the ultimate cheat code: quitting the things that no longer serve me. That goes for limiting mindsets, bad habits, negative people, and beyond. Here are the 10 things I quit in order to change my life for the better.
#1 - I quit disrupting my peace through overthinking
Easily one of my worst former habits - I would constantly cycle through all of the different variables for every decision I made, spiraling over each and every possible negative outcome. Except, most things I feared never even happened. But the stress I went through and the time and energy wasted I will never get back. I've realized that it's far more important to just do your best and let the chips fall where they may, and then address situations and follow-up decisions as they actually occur.
#2 - I quit going to bed late
I was always a night owl and used to feel like I did my best work in the late evenings and early mornings. But the truth is, they were crushing me. Mostly because the rest of the world does not operate on that kind of schedule. In my 20s, it was not unusual for people to get emails from me timestamped at 3am, and I would've worked myself into a coma if people let me. This all resulted in a slow start every (late) morning, lost time getting things done with others, and a very unhealthy eating schedule on top of it. Now, I've committed to always being in bed at a reasonable hour, and spending the hours leading up to it truly winding down. I am more productive, energized, and successful in all aspects of my life as a result.
#3 - I quit putting my health last
Quite literally everything else would come before my health. I was one of those crazy people who would forget to eat. I'd go nuts at the gym 2x a day. I prioritized doing as much as I could as fast as possible, cutting corners in my health and wellness every day. The result? Bad sleep, gut irritation, dangerously high cortisol levels, weight gain, irritability, skin problems, brain fog, and an auto-immune disorder that still plagues me to this day. In recent years, I've recognized that treating your body with respect is the most important thing you can do in your life. You are no good to anyone else if you're sick or dead. That's the hard truth! My kids inspired me to start putting my health first, and I've now drastically changed my diet, studied extensively about proper nutrition, and made wellness practices a part of my lifestyle.
#4 - I quit pressuring myself to keep a perfect schedule
To say I was neurotic about scheduling would be putting it mildly. It's certainly okay to keep a productive schedule, but I now know it's okay to be flexible too. Before, if I didn't accomplish the unreasonable amount of tasks on my to-do lists, I'd be riddled with stress, even occasionally giving myself panic attacks and debilitating migraines. Now, I give myself appropriate windows of time to do the things I need to get done, don't over-schedule myself, and give myself grace to know things can change, and that's alright. Learning to prioritize the time-sensitive things, and spread the rest over the course of the week has been a very healthy mindset shift.
#5 - I quit mindlessly using social media
It's no secret that you could scroll endlessly on apps like Instagram or TikTok. But as a person who already finds herself wanting to do more than she can, this habit was absolutely eating into my productivity. I also found that it was making me feel bad often... anxious, obsessive, sometimes even self-conscious. What was the point of it all? I decided to clean up the accounts I follow, and instead make sure I'm only accessing things that I care about, learn from, or find inspiring in some way. I cut my following list by about half in the course of a few days, and decided to reframe how I use the apps, and which I use. It's been a very good change.
#6 - I quit finding gratification in consumerism
The less stuff I have, the happier I am. No more clutter. No more endless organizing. No additional cleaning. And no more wasteful spending. I've found that I derive much more joy from investing in experiences than things, so I sorted through my stuff, and have done several rounds of donations and garbage trips since then. I found that I was not nearly as emotionally attached to the "stuff" as I thought I'd be, and that was a sign that I was doing the right thing. Living minimally with only what you need and what brings you joy is key.
#7 - I quit working during my down time
As an entrepreneur and business owner, I was really, really bad with this, but it can certainly apply to anyone. I would pack in as much as I could from sun up to sun down - no limitations existed. On the elliptical? Working. On a walk? Working. In the waiting room? Working. Out to lunch? Working. On vacation? Working. It didn't matter. Even while I was supposed to be relaxing or watching TV, I'd still find myself working. Now I decided that after dinner, work stops. When I'm with my kids, work stops. If I haven't even had my first cup of coffee yet, it's not time to start work. This practice has made me way more efficient in my time, actually getting more done in shorter windows than I even thought possible. It has also allowed me to avoid burnout and fully "recharge" so I am more present and focused in everything I do.
#8 - I quit associating with people who don't share my values
Just because you've known someone a long time, or even if they're your relative, it doesn't mean those people should remain in your circle if they're keeping you from growing and feeling good. I've had family that discouraged my dreams, and friends that were "staying at the party" a little too long in life. Some people are in your life for a season, and that's okay too. Others change, and sometimes, you're the one that changes. But I've decided that it's perfectly alright to outgrow the relationships that no longer serve me, and open myself up to new ones with people who hold the same values that I do.
#9 - I quit filling my schedule with open-ended tasks
The most mundane things could take me hours before. Whether that meant going through emails or organizing at home, if I had all day, it'd take all day. Now I've learned to give myself reasonable blocks of time for varying tasks, with a hard stop. It has forced me to stay focused, do only what needs to be done, and not get sidetracked. I've also identified where I was wasting time before, and even what types of things aren't worth my time at all!
#10 - I quit waiting for people to change
Probably the hardest - but most impactful - thing I've quit in life is waiting, expecting, and hoping people will change. Occasionally this happens, but only when they want to on their own. I've learned that wanting something for someone else just isn't enough. Try as you may, by adulthood, most people become increasingly set in their ways and patterns of thinking. It is very hard to break that. I've accepted that everyone has their own journey in life, their own mistakes to make, and their own path to discover. You can't save someone from themselves or teach them a lesson they must learn on their own in order for it to matter. Instead of remaining increasingly disappointed by people not changing in the face of all of my efforts and communication, I've decided that it's best to change my own perspective, boundaries, and where I place them in my life in order to protect myself and my peace. And doing that for myself is an important change I had to make, too.