How Becoming a Parent Drove Me Toward More Traditional Values

When you're young, your focus is on the immediate needs and desires of your age group. I don't remember caring about much besides the happenings in my school and social circles, family obligations, and limited future life planning. As I got into my college years, I naturally became exposed to more people and places. It opens up your eyes to lifestyles outside of your own, cultures you'd never experiences, and value systems that were previously foreign to you. Once you get into early adulthood, new things start to matter. You begin to understand how government and regulations impact your livelihood, why your parents made some decisions they made, and how every choice you now make can and will impact the coming years.

I don't think I'm alone in saying I never felt like a kid who embraced traditional values growing up. Sure, we all have some sort of rebellious streak in our youth, and I think that's normal. I wasn't one of the super "wild ones" by any means, but I'm talking more about how my mind was wired. I had always been very "live and let live" by nature, resistant to things like organized religion, and didn't put nearly enough emphasis and appreciation on conserving family values. We were 90s kids! Many of my peers were products of broken homes, trash entertainment media, unbridled access to the brand-new internet and the rise of social media, constant unsupervised communication through cell phones, and a new focus on consumerism. God was taken out of most homes and classrooms, and replaced by a sort of worship on celebrities, industries, institutions, and ideologies. What followed was a generation of adults now riddled with unmanageable stress, financial debt, depression, disease, and deep feelings of helplessness and regret as we try to navigate what has happened to us, how we got here, and if we'll ever get to enjoy life the way we were sold that we would if we just "followed the path" set forth by society and the generation before us.

To say we were largely bamboozled would be an understatement. But what did happen unexpectedly was a very large movement toward the embracement of what was once considered to be "old school" conservative values. I've seen it across the board with friends, family, acquaintances, and strangers alike. The desire to get "back to basics" has become almost a sort of revival among millennials, and I am here for it. In fact, I think it's one of the most healthy changes to enter into our culture. Though I think I would've ended up in this place eventually, nothing has driven me more quickly toward my increasingly traditional values than becoming a parent. Here's why:

I don't like the current state of the world.

I think things are largely upside down, people are more polarized than ever, mentally and physically unhealthier than in previous generations, afraid to speak their minds, trapped in endless cycles of debt, feeling unsafe to do many things they once did or aspired to do, and are barely surviving. I reminisce about simpler times, like when I was growing up. I have positioned my home and family toward all of these things, and refuse to subject my children to the pressures and evils of the world for as long as I can control it, at all costs. For us, if this means taking steps away from the "norms" we've largely been forced to accept, then that is what we are prepared and willing to do. We also make our opinions known by "voting with our wallets" (ie. spending money with businesses who function in ways we believe in), our "feet" (ie. willingness to move to a place where our rights and values are protected), and not shying away from standing firm in our convictions - whether that means changing our doctor's offices, school systems, or social activities.

Our American food supply has been poisoned.

From seed oils to artificial flavorings and beyond, what America has allowed to happen to our food is nothing short of criminal. I am personally convinced that the glyphosate added to our wheat supply in this country is what contributed to my gluten allergy (especially since I can consume glutenous products in Europe without reaction), and have spent years in my young adult life feeling bloated with irritable gut issues after eating out or purchasing pre-made foods from the store. My real awakening came after I identified how many disgusting and disease-causing ingredients were put in baby food products, including formula, introduced by hospitals from the first day of life for a newborn. Ever since then, my journey toward learning about whole foods, free from big agriculture's influence or tampering, has largely led my sensibilities when it comes to feeding myself and my family. I have never been better. We are slowly but surely going back to our traditional roots and embracing eating organically, locally, and with natural ingredients. I appreciate small farms now more than ever, and continue to try and grow as much of our own food as we can.

Government overreach has negatively impacted my life.

Here in Connecticut, the last few years have brought the following:

• An inability for my husband to participate in doctor's visits during our first pregnancy (until I finally found one practice that would allow him entry)

• Forced vaccinations and masking for participation in local society and access to certain places and activities for myself and my children (with religious exemptions recently revoked statewide)

• An unreasonable amount of hoops to jump through to exercise my 2A rights

• No access to childcare or most kids' activities if all CDC-recommended vaccinations are not taken or up to date

• Denial for healthcare at every single pediatrician's office (except the one we found) if we also did not participate in the exact vaccine schedule for our children

• No access to raw milk products, as they are illegal here for human consumption

• Endless taxes for personal life and business, making things far more challenging than they need to be and suffocating us financially, along with the ever-growing list of excessive regulations and paperwork that make running a business in this state borderline senseless

• Soft-on-crime policies that have resulted in loss of financial security and safety

• Rates for things like utilities and insurance that give you no options, as they are government-mandated, but there are no actual competitors available to allow standard capitalistic economics to come into play and drive prices down for consumers

• Loss of grant and funding opportunities for business due to not being a specific race, gender, or classified "marginalized group"

These are just some of the issues I've identified in recent years living in the northeast that have been driving many folks out of the region. They are also contributors to why we plan to relocate as well. The government has a few very important jobs in order to provide a functioning society for its citizens. But things have gone too far, and I have never cared more about small government being the best thing for people.

Childbirth has solidified my belief in a higher power.

I grew up Roman Catholic, went through all my sacraments, and attended church with my family every weekend. My extended family on both sides upheld Christian traditions and holidays, and I always had a basic foundation of faith. But as with most kids, I grew bored of the organized religious gatherings, and became skeptical of everything I was taught to accept as "fact," and was never allowed to question. I surely grew to become more secular as I got older, until I experienced the miracle of childbirth just a few years ago. I think it truly changes a person, and forces you to acknowledge the existence of a higher power. You can call it any name you'd like, but for me, God became unquestionably real the second I looked into my daughter's eyes. Everything made sense, and the way in which I perceived and experienced the world was forever shifted. I now appreciate tradition in a totally new way, I pray regularly, and I understand the importance of upholding and conserving these values for my family. I think believing in something bigger than yourself and being accountable for your actions is vastly important, along with teaching children the importance of doing the right thing, and the power of faith.

The political has become personal.

I know this topic can be touchy for some people - but it is what it is. I think everyone should live how they want to live, so long as their beliefs do not harm others. I'm not sure how some of these topics have become politicized in recent years, but apparently they have. I have spent many years of my life across the fence depending on the issue, but I can tell you this for sure: all of the maniacs out there will leave my kids alone. I will not have my daughters shower at a school or gym with someone of the opposite sex. I will not appease someone dressed as a giant stuffed animal and requesting to defecate in a litter box. I will not have a grown man dressed in something appropriate for a strip club read a book of nursery rhymes to my toddler. I will not allow my little girl to be harmed in sports, just to cater to the confusion of a young boy who demands to play on the wrong team in spite of the dangerous developmental differences. (And the cowards in charge who allow it.) I will not accept any authoritative figure pushing ideologies of any kind on my child - or discouraging the trust and beliefs we have fostered in the home as parents. I will not lie to my kids about what makes a man or woman, and I won't allow them to think things that are not true regarding the consequences of permanently altering your body, in any way. What has once "gone an inch" has now gone several miles, and I refuse to participate. I will stand firm to my (now much more) traditional values in this regard, and I will not apologize for it.

Struggle has helped me realize nothing matters more than family.

When you're young, you feel invincible. But life continues to teach you lessons as you grow, and no one is immune from exposure to varying levels of pain and suffering. Sorry to put it so bluntly, but it's true. Some people will be challenged with their health, careers, loved ones, financial circumstances, and beyond. What I have discovered though, is that when the chips are down, nothing matters more than your family. When life gets hard, there are select people you can rely on. Not all family is perfect, and many of us unfortunately have some toxic family members that haven't served us well. But the core blood-related family and "chosen family" (close friends), is who will hold you down when you need it the most. Whether that be to lend an ear to listen, open up their home to you, or any other form of generosity to help you get through the hard things. Now with my own family, I want to instill this strength and comfort in our unit above everything. I want my kids to know that we (and their siblings) are their safe place, we are who they can rely on, and that our understanding, loyalty, and love knows no bounds. The more modern mindset of growing up and growing away from the rest of your family is not healthy, IMO. I think it's absolutely beautiful how my ancestors in Italy lived multi-generationally, all often in the same town, and sometimes even under the same roof. I'm all for my children growing up and spreading their wings, and I'll never get in the way of that, but the traditional values of keeping a family close is something I never want them to lose sight of, and want rooted as early as possible.

The less "stuff" I have, the happier I am.

Our materialistic culture has broken so many people. "Stuff" has become a measure of self-worth for a lot of individuals, while they remain completely empty inside. The old adage that "money doesn't buy happiness" exists for a reason. Though I don't totally agree with the concept... I would say confidently that financial prosperity buys freedom, and freedom brings happiness. But things alone cannot do that. Consumerism is gross and the root of many evils in society. Sure, everyone likes to have some nice things - maybe for you that's a fancy bag, pair of shoes, high-end guitar, sports car, season tickets to watch your favorite sports team play. And if you can afford it, have it! But cluttering your life with endless purchases, and typically the systemic debt that comes along with it, is nothing short of stupid. I don't subscribe to any of it. Never have, never will. I drove my Kia Optima until the wheels fell off. It didn't matter that I could afford something snazzier - I had something comfortable that functioned the way I needed it to. I saved my money. When I bought my first house, I didn't go to the highest-end stores to get it furnished so I could impress my friends, I picked up things here and there at economical prices, or found some good used pieces that satisfied my needs. Little choices like this over time have afforded me huge opportunities and advancements in life that most people don't get by 30. I place my value in the things that matter the most. I don't need the "stuff," and frankly, the less I have, the happier I've become. I like living minimally, and hate clutter and useless things. I have attachments to nothing physical. It's freeing, and also allows nothing to control me or prey on my insecurities. I can't be mesmerized, distracted, or lured in by creations stemming from corporate greed or incentives. I don't buy into it, and life is simpler (and much more pleasant) that way.

The pathway to optimal health isn't found through big agriculture, pharma, or any governing institution.

Anyone who makes a profit from the sick, needy, or less fortunate is evil. Period. All you need to do is open your eyes and use some basic critical thinking to see that things like unhealthy processed foods, endless drugs, and handouts that make you dependent, are all bad for you. Nourishing traditions of eating what is available where you live, in season, and without harmful additives, pesticides, hormones, or anything else made in a lab is what helps the body thrive. Being in the sun and not stuck under fluorescent lights at a job you hate is what humans desire. Understanding root causes of pain or disease and treating the underlying illness, and not the symptoms, is a better strategy for health. And limiting government intervention and influence in determining (and mandating) what is "best" for us seems to be key - as you do not need to be a historian to learn from the past errors of what happens when you allow gross overstep into our individual choices and bodily autonomy.

The core ideas behind American Liberty resonate with me now more than ever.

We take so much for granted, growing up as Americans. Until recently, I always felt that I was safe to walk down any street, that I'm free to say what I think (regardless of who it may "offend"), that criminals would be appropriately handled by the law always, and that all my constitutional rights would be protected no matter what. The core values that built this country are so very aligned with what is important to me as a human being, and what I want to instill in my children. What I've seen in recent years disturbs me. Law and order seems to be an afterthought if it benefits certain groups in control, the whole "sticks and stones" adage was apparently lost after my generation, and I continue to watch innocent people be persecuted for political gain in a variety of different circumstances. I question the validity and honesty of our government and democratic system. I have witnessed the power of lobbying groups and am horrified at the (mostly) quiet cooperation of "big pharma" and "big food" with the exact departments that were designed to protect us from their overreach, influence, and influence of regulation. Our society is sick in every way imaginable, and the American people are becoming increasingly voiceless and powerless to protect themselves. I love this country for all it stands for, and will do everything I can to help it continue to thrive in the way it was intended for the coming generations to enjoy the way they're supposed to. We are a shining light for the rest of the world, there is a reason for that. And it is worth preserving and saving.

Getting more acquainted with death has allowed me to understand the purpose of life.

As we get older, it is natural to be forced into experiencing loss more and more. It is the circle of life, and an unfortunate reality that the people we have known and loved will eventually pass on. It does not make it less hard or painful, but your understanding of a life well lived does become increasingly clear. Time is so incredibly finite. It is imperative that we stay focused on the things that matter most. Those things are not solely career-based, or making your job part of your identity. It's about identifying the gifts you've been given and using them to better your life. It's about finding your purpose. It's about growing and evolving as a person. It's about not wasting energy on things or people who don't matter. It's about finding someone you love that you want to spend your life with. It's about creating the family you've dreamed of. It's about having freedom to do what brings you joy, when you want, and with the people you care about. And as you grow older, it's about the simple things - a tranquil home, a full table for the holidays, meaningful contributions to your community, quiet evenings enjoying a delicious meal with your spouse, a great cup of coffee, and most of all, the ability to sit alone with your thoughts and feel at peace. These are things we all need, and are worthy to strive and work for. They are rooted in the basic concepts of traditional American life. They are only able to be enjoyed when everything else is in order, when the important things have been fought for and won. They allow you to set a proper example for the next generation, and teach them how they can be made whole, too. Preserving our traditional values is something I believe in now more than ever. My children are worth it. And I'm not afraid to do whatever it takes to give them that. Are you?